Gays

It is high time I explained why gays should have rights. Many of you feel that you are above the animals. That only humans can converse with God. That only we have souls. That only we make laws and know right from wrong.

Well, I really hate to let you down, buster, but we are no different from the animals or the plants for that matter. What is this, you ask. Has another nut job lost control of his senses? No, I'm just a guy who knows what evolution is all about. Catholics, remember, the Vatican is NOT on the side of creationists. All others, if you do not believe in evolution, go your merry way--this post holds nothing for you.

Let me explain evolution to those of you who believe in it and think you know what it is. I say, "think you know what it is," because, if you did know evolution the way that I understand it, you would not ever make laws against gays.

Why did evolution create gays? Let's start at some random point in an organism's evolution. The organism's DNA is wondering if it's got "the right stuff." Does it? Well, more than likely, yes. But the most crucial notion is this: it does not know that it has the right stuff. Let me repeat this very important idea: no organism on the face of the earth ever knows that its genetic endowment is adequate for the task. What task? Well that's the other issue; no organism knows what the next task will be and, as such, it cannot know if its genetic endowment is adequate.

That should be the guiding light for all of humanities' social dilemmas--it does not know. So, what is the organism to do? The only option open to it is to maintain a repertoire of tools and characteristics that MAY help in the future. What future? Well, the future that may come our way some day when we least expect it.

What does this have to do with Gays? Gays, who have always existed, are different from us. They are different from us because God's process of evolution doesn't have the slightest inkling of what may be needed in the future.

To make you see the problem more clearly, let's take a hypothetical situation. We have an organism that, through a mutation, begins making an oddball enzyme that degrades, oh, let us say, the coat of a certain virus. Other varieties of this organism do not produce the enzyme--they are, the normal variety. In the future, the virus with a special coat attacks the organisms, both the normal ones and ones producing the oddball enzyme. Guess what? The organism that produced the enzyme is now the fittest and it will survive. Do you see what happened? Out of the blue, evolution creates these different organisms because it knows not what will come down the pike. It is all a matter of luck, of course, it could have been that the organisms did not have the right enzyme. In that case, the organisms do not survive and extinction comes.

Gays are same as the organism with the special enzyme. Now, many will ask, "what the hell do gays have that would enable the survival of the species?" I do not know the answer to that--not even God. I do know, however, that gays are as necessary as any other organism that alters its DNA in order to have the "right stuff" to survive whatever the environment throws at it.

I do not need to apologize to Gays about there status as deviant organisms because there are millions of "diviants" among us. For instance, I put on weight at the drop of hat. My wife has an uncanny ability to rearrange letters to come up with another word. One of my sons has to have a meticulous room. A daughter believes in the concept of a soulmate. Another daughter loves cats. Another son is kind but he has no respect for the property of others. You have your own relatives whom you consider strange or "black sheep" or oddballs.

There is no group which is homogeneous. Everyone has members that exhibit some aberration, some difference, some deformity, some quirky behavior. This is all evolution's doing. To believe in this, you only have to envision a situation where you have been placed in a new radical environment. Will you survive? Perhaps, but if you don't, your species will probably have at least one other organism/person with the "right stuff."

Do you still find Gays a stretch of the imagination? What if you imagined a primate that began to walk upright--for no reason? What if you imagined a primate that developed an opposable thumb--for no reason? Can you not see your ancestors?
All gays are are evolution's attempt at producing many varieties in order to survive what the future may have in store. Instead of gay persons, evolution could have come up with people who where heterosexual but who wanted their wives to massage their prostates. I know, the discussion is getting weird but evolution is weird and must be weird becase it knows not what may come its way.